At the end of this blog is a link to a sound track on you-tube. I invite you to scroll down now and turn it on (ignore the picture) and listen to it while you read.
According to Dictionary.com, nor·mal
/ˈnôrməl/
Adjective
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Noun
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Synonyms
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Now, I can understand that this word has it's uses when defining certain expectations. It's normal for a mandarin to be orange in colour. It's normal for the sun to rise in the east; and other equally inane sentences. However, when the word normal is applied to human beings, very rarely is it used with kindness or even a vague sense of fairness.
What is normal for human beings? Simplistically it seems to be the consensus of the vast majority. The irony, however, is that none of us conform to every norm, so how is it that we can consider ourselves normal?
This isn't just about being politically correct. It's about being honest with ourselves. The idea that someone doesn't live up to the standards that we have in our own minds, does not make us better than them. In fact, I'd argue that to reject someone who doesn't fit our own personal pre-determined limits actually makes them better than us. Who are we to judge?
No. Seriously. Think about it.
Who are you to judge another as inadequate? Who am I to judge another?
There are all sorts of wise old sayings that address this. "People who live in glass houses should not throw stones". In the bible it says "let the one who is without sin cast the first stone". This is when a woman is being threatened with being stoned to death for a sin.
Who are you to judge?
It's not just one another that we judge, but entire nations, ethnicities, religious groups and more. Heck, we even judge God. We define God by our own experiences and prejudices. God believes this, God thinks that - it says so in black and white in the bible. We are constantly looking for weapons to attack each other with.
"Those who don't conform are a danger to the whole and must be brought into line or destroyed."
Sounds extreme doesn't it?
I'm thinking Hitler, but there are many other possible examples out there.
I'm thinking that at one point or another in our lives, we've all been guilty of this kind of thinking. Maybe not consciously, maybe not in black and white like that - but in rejection of others.
They say "kids are cruel", but I don't think that is the case. I think children learn cruelty from those around them. How many times have you 'dodged' a beggar? Am I being too harsh? Ok, then try this. How many times have you sat down beside a beggar and talked to them about their story, about how they ended up where they are? It's easy to say 'they made bad choices'. It's harder to say, I've made bad choices too. I dare you to say you have never made a bad choice in your life.
"There but for the grace of God go I."
Ok, so maybe their bad choice isn't the same as the bad choice you made, maybe their bad choice has worse consequences which is why you would never consider it. You are so much better than they, you would never end up like that. Right? RIGHT????
I bet they thought that too once.
I saw a post today that said something along the lines of "I'm not a freak. I'm fabulously unique." It's stuck in the back of my mind all day, and tonight when talking to anther friend on facebook I coined a new term.
I'm not a freak, I'm a frique baby. I am fabulously unique. I am "fearfully and wonderfully made" and there is no other like me. There never has been and never will be.
Parts of my life journey will mirror parts of the life journey of millions or even billions of others, and we will never know our connection. In a way, that's kind of a shame. For in those similarities are the bonds that we are looking for. That connectedness, that oneness, that 'majority' that we instinctively seek. Here is the safety in numbers that the 'herd mentality' tells us we need.
I need you. You need me. In this, we are all one.
So, instead of looking at others in terms of their ability, their appearance, their beliefs, their sexuality or even their role ... I challenge you to look at them in terms of love.
Whether you relate to them or not, whether you know them or not, I dare you to care about them. Even for a nanosecond. Look with compassion, even if you can't look with understanding. Look with openness, even if they are different to you. Look with hope, and then, you will find that you are not alone. They too are fearfully and wonderfully made. They too are one of a kind. You are not as alone or as threatened by change and difference as you think.
Get your frique on baby.
